Be the ocean

I love your high

I need to sleep with the window open so I don't hear your silence.

my hands need not to reach for the same thing.
when I spread my heart to find my own
Itself.

I get an ache on sudden moments.

And I need to know 

I still know your touch.

Will I? Can I? Is it?

I do!  

i burst into silence

No smile, no sad lips.
The no memories part with you is now in the process of getting it forgotten. I am happy with things but I have a certain smile not so much that is there- because your memory is still here. Numb smile.

yes, i called for love

door enclosed

baby slowly

keep calm in worrying and create

Every time I'm in the country I find time to shoot more freely. It's because I have -a new place that is new at the moment; more rooms so that I can find the light/sun shine in different ways and intensities and because I'm all alone in that big house. I miss that while at home ( a shared apartment is not so fun when inspiration hits). Soo...after a long time and a long debate I thing I am ready for this step. I really need it. My own place one part sleeping corner one part studio room. Photography...hm....I need to put everything I have into this plan so that I know I will be ok no matter what. I need to create, I need to grow, I need to put on 'canvas' the thing that sometimes is the only thing that lets me breath.
I beg for art. I've always begged for more. Now..I ask my mint to keep calm in worrying and creating sceneries that do not need to exist because my mind says so.

i believe in us even when i can't handle the reality's truth

i dreamt of you holding me

Right now. And this is once more the reflection of you on my body, face, soul, and mind.
It's like one thousand little needles pinch my heart at the exact same time.
I want nothing. And yet it hearts. Because I was a part of it. And because I loved you with every bone of my body. And I am never ready to let you go.
don't go. just stay quiet at least.


Like a stress release I woke up feeling like crying. And I did. You did not answer and I had to talk so I talked with myself in between sobs.
I want this pain to end but we do not let go entirely. I am tired to be left out of my biggest purest love so far. And it hurts drop by drop, second by second.
One second is an eternity. Now I am in the same place as you. And I watch every single car passing by. I want you near so much that I want you to go.
I am in pain, I can't eat again. I want a full stop. But I don't want it out of your arms. I dreamt of you holding me.