my veins need to unlearn your name

My veins know so well my drive,
My sweet sorrowful heavy belonging love
Please stop enchanting
From deep down myself
'Cause I feed myself with drive
And now I try to suffice myself
And say no to pain
And pain is what i love till blood comes
And say no, no to what drives you mad and bold
And loved engraved in my desire.
To become, to love.
I beg, all naked, fragile and strong
For once I miss the drive from that place that puts me first.
And I push away a desire
That I want and I so wish to stop
To be full like the full moon.
And I wish to stop seeking for the only drive I know
That drives me mad,
Makes me alive,
Trows me off the floor,
And on again, like a wave of self-loath, of love
Oh, sweet sorrowful love
No good, only when you see fit
Alone and in the night
Amen
I beg once more
I send one prayer more
Of light, to be myself tonight
And more.
Unspoken and more.


My veins know so well my drive
that it comes so easily for them to want it back
And I lean back and forth in life
In wait, in awe and in not wanting it back
That I still have to wait and see who wins all that.