31 Aug 2015

the beginning of something big

Editorial called "Barefoot in the Opera House"
More coming soon.

   Model: Roxana Puriș
   Dress by: Roxi's Fine Cut
   Make-up by: Satmari Oana Oana Satmari Make Up

I still have to upload more pictures from this shooting but decided to share a glimpse of it.
My biggest collaboration so far.

29 Aug 2015

my instagram project callled #girlswithcameras #girlsshooting

I'm starting a new project on my instagram called #girlswithcameras or #girlsshooting
After I take some pictures of a girl, and I give them to see the results, I like so much how they look with it that I immediately take my phone and take a picture of them just holding the camera or shooting as in that moment they feel an urge for shooting. I think they look so photogenic holding my camera that I want to continue this project. This is in fact the latest one from two days ago.

25 Aug 2015

Label Zero

 I've teamed up with my girl from Label ZERO and shoot this dress made by her. Today at 3am I felt like experimenting with editing the results.

24 Aug 2015

deep down in my core is only you and insomnia

I'm trying to document this past month in pictures. It just came to me. Actually that's what I intended to do when I started this blog with a ride to another city. But I always post in advance since I can't find the patience to wait and because I'm always in search of the next best thing.

I can't find my peace while sleeping alone, or mostly, at home.
So I've started to sleep at my friends.
First, it was with my best friend Alex because she is from out of town and would only stay in town for one more week if I was to stay with her.
We would spend time together at the pool in town after I would get from work. We will shoot or we'll try to figure out what we will eat next. It was so strange to wake up in the morning, she sleeping, and go to my job in a hurry so that we would have more time to spend together when I'd be back. Our biggest worries where what food to pick from the supermarket and what movie to watch (one of us always ending up sleeping ) after 1000 movie trailers.

  Then we went to Arad County.
We biked, ate, took pictures and just continue living together and getting used to each other so that when I left, it felt strange to do so. We were kind of like a team. We'd spend one full day documenting on how to add a certain gadget to my blog. She'd pick up things I do and I'd pick up things she'd love or hate.

And from our shoot on a hill somewhere near her home:

Then I slept for 2-3 days at another friend from which I don't have pictures. But it felt mesmerizing to compare the habits I'd gain from these girls. And from the people we usually spend night and day with. For example I'd get used to using a coaster for my drink in exchange for trying to make her feel more carefree. Also, from Alex, I'd get a lot more paranoid about big dogs biting me or being way to careful about what I use on my face, or cleansing related. And so much more of these little things that would kind of fade away with my next stay at a different place!

22 Aug 2015

Vreau sa imi spun povestea ca sa ma pot elibera.

Cand a fost sa fiu a ta- am rabufnit intr-un suspin adanc, de la care am simtit nevoia sa ma ridic usor si sa rostesc  fara gand aproape :’Nu e bine.’ like a certain unbearable pain would come. I felt like in a novel when a love transcends time with wounds that barely heal.

Now I have days when I barely speak, looking like I’m someplace else. Are most people like this? I too smile and sometimes slightly fake it, but I am also happy. But I have a pain so deep in me and a search without a path. And in those days I want to have that feeling I have when hiding under a blanket. I have this urge to a distant myself from people. I need to. It’s like I need no care, no love, no worries, no past.
These days come and go. And I travel because I always feel like it.
I can’t deal with responsibility. I need to escape it. I just need to create something, but in these days when I need that the most, I kind of move in slow motion. I don’t know how I look, I just feel like I’m crawling.

I want to be trough with my past, with this love that has no ground but too many tears and sorrows. From my part at least. I don’t think I’ve loved before- and now it was with the one that can silence my thoughts and my worries. Just being in the 1m reach. By holding my head on your shoulder or chest. Like nothing else really exists. And it’s all I’ve been looking for. All.

Now I have you far and near for too long. Two and a half years and counting. I’m mad at myself for doing do, as well as all the people I know in my family or by sight. But only one thought of you…and I’m all lost and completely yours. I cry by thought. By image. By self made future plans together. And I can’t stand another man around me, looking at me, touching my hand, my shoulder. They are no you and they are no sparkle to hold on to. And I know you do the same with some so that you’d feel your self-worth.
And I’m struggling to find an answer to a nonexistent situation. But there is just now- my pain, tears, frustration….and at times your monosyllabic answer. And that keeps me going. For how long- I don-t know but I know I’m dying to dilute or annihilate that feeling of lonesomeness that I have in my heart and eyes whenever I travel to a new place, an old place, or in my stare first thing in the morning. I’m dying to have unnumbered days without that. To feel like the muppet string have been cut off.

I am in need.

5 Aug 2015

I want my period of adjustment to be over and reach the next level

I have a feeling of decaying even though things are happening. I'm eager to start all anew but there are so many things holding me back. Especially one big reason. Still.

I hate to continue to hold my phone against my lips, or my forehead or squeeze it in my hands. I hate this feeling that I can't completely begin anew and not being able to completely letting go. I hate completely missing our memories or new memories that never got to happen. I hate to have all this inside and completely not letting go. I don't miss... I hate having flashbacks with you. Flash forwards haven't quite sufficed. But they are somehow there. Here. I hate having to getting images that are just images but not quite. I miss the images, not you. You- it's a mix of feelings I don't get.

  I don't have true feeling in my life. And the only true feeling I know is love. Consuming love. There's no life for me without it. And these couple of weeks ( I wouldn't like to say months) this has been keeping me unable to sleep quietly and without an ache inside of me; like my ribs are breaking piece by piece and that I don't have support underneath my feet. But I turn on the light and I'm all ok.

  Despite the occasional present tears, I'm all ok. And that's what makes it more intriguing.
I have a shadow in my life. I've put it there and I don't know the way to live without it. I've never loved this way. But I know love can't be this painful. Love is kind.

I want my period of adjustment to be over and reach the next level of my life.